you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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