Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
