Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we're making bets on your personal life
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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