Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
