i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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