I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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