me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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