i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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