Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
