the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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