i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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