im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
