you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
