Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
