Me too!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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