I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
All the doctor said was why
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
