yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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