those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
