You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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