just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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