I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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