if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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