I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
