it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
