This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
