i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You took a bar mat shot.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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