I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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