I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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