Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
