4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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