It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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