Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
