I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
