3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
