Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
