as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
