remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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