Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
