I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
is that a dick in a sweater?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
