so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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