His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
