Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
