i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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