You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
its not stalking. its research.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
