Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
