Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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