she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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