you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
