that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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