I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
