hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
