Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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