It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize