things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
