It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
