Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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