so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
