I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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