Sponge bath it is.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
