oh god the rape fog is back!
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
