So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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