Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
