suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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