Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Come see our sink grown plant.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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